Category

Trauma

Lightworkers in the Dark AyahuascaEmotionsthe Dark SideTrauma

Lightworkers in the Dark

Ayahuasca visions, despite their glamorous reputation, are not all light and love—they can be shockingly dark and downright disgusting. Sometimes people feel shame about what they experienced in ceremony, or in the surprisingly intense times that can arise afterwards. Working as an integration therapist, here’s what I find myself saying, over and over again: “What you’re experiencing in the aftermath of your retreat is part of the process. The dark material that’s arising, the fear, the anxiety, the pain—all this…
May 13, 2020
DNA, ancestors and ayahuasca
Ancestors or Past Lives? AyahuascaDietaPersonal ExperienceTrauma

Ancestors or Past Lives?

Ayahuasca leads us through subterranean memories, down into primal dungeons where we’ve locked away parts of ourselves. These are not just personal recollections, but the ancient, rejected secrets of our species (ayahuasca works with the species, not just the individual), which need to come into the light to be released. It’s not unusual to have ayahuasca visions from another place and time. Sometimes these rise up from the land itself, as in my first ceremony, when I was greeted by…
Nov 20, 2019
On the Poison Path AyahuascaPersonal ExperienceTrauma

On the Poison Path

Ayahuasca illuminates dark and light in equal measure, unleashing both terror and bliss, often in the same night, sometimes in the same breath. Ultimately, if you can open to whatever arises with a degree of equanimity and assimilate it over time, the practice can lead to a grounded wholeness that's Tantric in its depth and completeness. It all depends on how deeply you do your share of the work. The medicine stirs the pot, bringing everything you’ve buried up onto…
Oct 15, 2019
6 Ways Ayahuasca Works Like a Good Trauma Therapist AyahuascaTrauma

6 Ways Ayahuasca Works Like a Good Trauma Therapist

It may seem farfetched to suggest that ayahuasca can work like a somatically based trauma therapist, but I’ve noted intriguing parallels between ayahuasca experiences and the process I’ve witnessed with trauma healing methods like EMDR and Somatic Experiencing. In this article, I’ll offer some empirical observations on how ayahuasca works with trauma, drawing on my background as a psychotherapist trained in EMDR and SE. Some of these I’ve seen in my work as an integration therapist; others I’ve noted in…
Jul 2, 2019
When Ayahuasca Triggers Trauma Ayahuascathe Dark SideTrauma

When Ayahuasca Triggers Trauma

Ryan was a meditator, experienced with ayahuasca, so it surprised him (not in a good way) when a disturbing ceremony revealed the world as hollow and grotesquely meaningless. In the aftermath, he felt dissociated and numb. It took him the better part of a year to recover, and he was still wondering what had happened when we met several years later. He’d been wary of ayahuasca ever since. Ayahuasca can be powerfully therapeutic. Research is showing how ayahuasca can help…
Mar 30, 2019
Uprooting Trauma: Meeting Iboga IbogaPersonal ExperienceTeacher PlantsTrauma

Uprooting Trauma: Meeting Iboga

Iboga (Tabernanthe iboga) is a rainforest shrub of West-Central Africa. The bark of its root, consumed in powdered form, is powerfully psychoactive, triggering visions and deeply personal understandings about one’s life. Iboga is known as a formidable spiritual teacher who guides and instructs humans. In Amazonian terms, it’s a planta maestra, a teacher plant—one of the greatest of them all. Soon after I started working with visionary plants, I began to feel a call to iboga, drawn by its uncompromising…
Oct 26, 2017
Family Secrets in Ayahuasca’s Light AyahuascaPersonal ExperienceShadowTrauma

Family Secrets in Ayahuasca’s Light

Seven days into an ayahuasca retreat in the Peruvian Amazon, I'm not liking—no, let’s tell it straight—hating the guy who sits across from me in the circle. Mike’s smugness, his closedness, his know-it-all vibe are driving me crazy. And I know, reluctantly but well enough, that the qualities I am triggered by are actually inside of me. La Medicina has been busy unraveling my tidy self-perceptions this past week, and I am overdue for a round of shadow work. Meeting…
Mar 28, 2017